“The fact that TV turns kids into zombies for five seconds is the whole point. That’s what you want, so you can make them a nourishing meal for them to throw on the floor.”

Book a babysitter, because tickets to the most hilariously unfiltered theatre show about parenthood, Emily Writes’ Rants in the Dark, go on presale today. 

The brilliant new play based on popular writer Emily Writes’ blog-turned-best-selling-book, Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to Another, opens at Auckland Live’s Bruce Mason Centre on May 16 for a strictly three-day season.

Honest, authentic and laugh-out-loud funny, the play revels in the raw truth of parenthood (and grandparenthood) and its ‘mess of contradictions’. It is a biting antidote to judgmental supermarket-tutterers and plane-smirkers everywhere.

The play has been adapted for the stage by writer and performer Mel Dodge, award-winning director Lyndee-Jane Rutherford and Good Times Company producer Bevin Linkhorn, and stars three of New Zealand’s top actors, Renee Lyons (Funny Girls, 800 Words), Bronwyn Turei (Go Girls, Shortland Street – The Musical) and Amelia Reid-Meredith (Shortland Street). 

Emily Writes is the editor of The Spinoff Parents and has been a columnist for media outlets including Stuff, NZ Herald and NZ Women’s Weekly. She edits her own website emilywrites.co.nz, has written two books, and has two children. Her writing, which often focuses on issues related to parenting but also includes features and reviews, is hugely popular due to its eloquence and candid style – a charm which is replicated in the play.

The book Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to Another was the natural progression from the successful blog Writes started in the wee small hours while feeding her first baby, in a valiant attempt to reclaim her adult brain. Following her first post – Fuck off, I’m grateful – Writes woke to nearly a million hits and over 15,000 emails in her inbox.

The Auckland season of Rants in the Dark follows a four-week premiere season at Wellington’s Circa Theatre earlier this year and, prior to that, a five night sell-out preview season at the 2018 Women’s Theatre Festival.

The Auckland Live season of Rants in the Dark runs May 16-18 at Takapuna’s Bruce Mason Centre.

'Rants in the Dark is a laugh-cry, get up in your realness, ode to mamas out there everywhere. Get your tired self along and feel heard. Brilliant work!' - Litcrawl Wellington

'Anyone who has ever been a baby needs to see this play… laughter is the predominant audience response as we empathise with it all.' - Theatreview

'Every parent has to see it. I had alternate tears from laughing and crying. Such a brilliantly pulled together work with three kickass wahine actors.' - Booksellers NZ

'Rants in the Dark - a hilarious play for anyone, not just new mothers… a must-see for new parents and infinitely enjoyable. Even if you're not a parent, you're guaranteed a great show and will come away with the urge to call your mum and say thanks.' - Stuff.co.nz 



Emily Writes is a mother of two boys. She lives in Wellington with her husband and rescue greyhound Twinkle. She has written two books: Rants in the Dark: From One Tired Mama to Another and Is it Bedtime Yet: Tales of Parenting...the Hilarious, the Hair-raising, the Heart-breaking. She is the editor of The Spinoff Parents and regularly writes for other publications. She is a patron of PND Wellington and a supporter of the Neonatal Trust and Wellington Children's Hospital.  She is an activist, advocate, volunteer, public speaker and bleeding heart.


Lyndee-Jane Rutherford is the director and co-adaptor of Rants in the Dark. She has worked extensively in theatre and television since starting her career in the comedy series Skitz, The Semisis and Telly Laughs in the 90s. She’s performed in over 50 professional theatre productions around the country, including Who Wants to be 100?, Troy the Musical and In Flame, for which she was nominated for Chapman Tripp Actress of the Year in 2003. Lyndee-Jane directed Ache, Midsummer, Miss Bronte and The Mystery of Edwin Drood at Wellington’s Circa Theatre. She won the Chapman Tripp Award for Most Promising Director in 2006 with her production of Love Puke.


Renee Lyons has appeared in a number of New Zealand television series, including Funny Girls II, 800 Words and Filthy Rich, and has a strong body of theatre work. Renee has 18-month-old twins, Darcy and Ralph.

Bronwyn Turei is perhaps best known for her role in the popular TV series Go Girls. She most recently played Nurse Jaki Manu in Shortland Street – The Musical.

Amelia Reid-Meredith – also a mum – most recently played Bella on Shortland Street for over six years.